


The Future is What We Make of it

by ladyroxanne21



Series: Past Present Future [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: An averted suicide attempt, An iffy session of double masturbation, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Reference to Torture, Reverse Chronology, The tags make it sound way worse than it actually is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-03
Packaged: 2018-10-14 10:39:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10534785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyroxanne21/pseuds/ladyroxanne21
Summary: Now that the attack that they've been expecting for seven years has happened, Harry and Draco have to decide whether they want more kids. Later on, Draco needs some comfort that only he can provide.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Despite all the heavy warning tags, I think this part is fairly fluffy too :-)

“I still say this is a bad idea,” Draco murmured as he watched Harry strip out of his Auror robes.

“We were all set to do this weeks ago,” Harry reminded his sulky husband. “You're only having second thoughts now because that attack we've been expecting for years finally happened.

“Salazar, no,” Draco informed Harry, who was almost completely naked by this point. Shifting off their bed, Draco pulled the love of his life into his arms. “I'm not concerned about that since it turned out exactly the way I thought it would. I'm just... It's like I said before, your job is highly dangerous. You were called in the day of the attack because _a family_ was being held hostage. Worse! They were only being held to distract and occupy _you_ so that the rest of the group could attempt to come after _us_! What would have happened if we had actual babies at that point? Or still been pregnant? What if we do this and five months in, you're attacked on a routine patrol and ki–”

“Stop, Draco!” Harry insisted, shaking the gorgeous worry-wort. “That line of thinking will do no good. If we lived our entire lives catering to the fear that something bad might happen, then we'll never take any of the risks that have the potential to be the best things that ever happen to us.”

“Just...” Draco sighed in frustration. “Harry, we already have the two best children in the world. Why do we really need more?”

Harry stroked Draco's hair and continued down his back all the way to his cushy arse – which was unfortunately still fully clothed. “Because deep down, I just know we're meant to have more. I'm really starting to feel like we're missing out on something important. I have dreams in which we're holding babies almost every night, and I wake up with the feeling like they're getting mad at me that I haven't created them yet.”

Draco thought about this in silence for a moment. “It means that much to you?”

“Yes!” Harry practically hissed in his eagerness to convey his point.

Draco took a deep breath and nodded. “Alright.”

Elated, Harry promptly stripped his husband naked, kissing everything as it was uncovered. Smiling at the obvious indication that Harry still wanted him so very much, Draco cupped Harry's neck and pulled him close for a heated kiss. When they broke apart a few minutes later, Harry waved his hand at the cabinet that Draco stored a variety of his more necessary potions in. The doors promptly flew open so that two small vials of green liquid could soar across the room.

Draco caught them, sighed as he surrendered to his husband's will, and downed one. Harry took the other from him and downed it too. Then Harry simply held Draco tight.

Draco eventually warmed up to the idea, and stroked Harry's back in a gesture meant to soothe them both. “It'll take a bit longer for the potions to work their magic, so why don't we go take a relaxing bath?”

“I wash you and you wash me?” Harry suggested with a grin.

“Definitely!” Draco agreed with a matching grin.

Harry mentally thanked every god he knew of that Draco had insisted they have a tub big enough that they could lay down side by side if they wanted. It meant that they had plenty of room to cuddle and grope each other as they took turns getting clean. Neither was truly dirty – although Harry was a little sweaty from working – thus the bath was more about relaxing and getting into the mood than it was about washing up.

Draco started a kiss that lasted so long the water grew cold. When they realized this, Harry muttered non-magical curses at himself for forgetting to cast the temperature stasis charm. Smirking and shaking his head in amusement, Draco caressed Harry's abdomen to subtly remind him that they had plans that were best conducted in bed.

With an eager grin, Harry dragged his husband out of the tub and waved his hand to cast impatient drying spells over them just as they arrived next to the bed. Draco tugged on Harry to make him stop for a moment. Harry gave Draco a curious look.

“You're exhausted, aren't you?” Draco asked in concern.

Harry tilted his head side to side. “A bit, but not so much that I want to skip having sex tonight.”

Draco smiled in mild adoration at his lusty husband. “All I meant was that perhaps you should do me first. Then you can relax and drift off to sleep as I do you.”

Harry narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You're trying to trick me. You're hoping that I'll fall asleep before you finish so that you can stop and _not_ get me pregnant after all.”

Draco shook his head and kissed Harry. With a soft whisper, he informed his smart husband that: “If I wanted to prevent you from getting pregnant, I would have simply cast a spell to vanish my spunk the moment it leaves me, so that you'd _think_ I'd done my best to get you pregnant.”

Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Slytherin.”

Draco smirked. “Always.”

“Alright, we'll do as you suggested, but if I end up not pregnant somehow, I'll never forgive you,” Harry warned.

Draco merely nodded as he crawled into their bed. “You can use spells to prepare me, if you want.”

It wasn't his favorite method since he _loved_ being rimmed and fingered, but he well knew that Harry was running on fumes and was likely to fall asleep if they took too long. It was a sad fact of married life that most of the time, sex was rather quick and to the point. Only on special occasions was sex truly spectacular these days.

Harry kissed Draco as he wandlessly cast all the necessary preparation spells, making Draco smile as he silently admitted that even the quick and to the point sex was spectacular when it was with Harry. The moment Draco was ready, Harry entered him in a series of small thrusts that got him buried deep without hurting Draco. Then Harry chose a medium pace that let him kiss his husband the entire time. Far too quickly and with a groan of mild disappointment, Harry pumped Draco full.

Draco tangled his fingers in Harry's hair and kissed him a bit deeper for a moment. “My turn!”

Harry smiled at him. “I'm sorry that didn't last more than five minutes.”

“Don't be an idiot,” Draco sneered lightly. “I know that you can do so much better when we're both fully rested and have someone to watch the kids.”

“Maybe we should plan a holiday and have your parents watch the kids so that we can spend an entire week devoted to just each other before we reach the morning sickness stage,” Harry suggested as Draco rolled them over.

“That sounds heavenly,” Draco admitted with a soft purr. He shifted to kiss a trail down Harry's stomach. His long fingers rubbed circles around Harry's soft pucker.

“As wonderful as that is, can I just cast spells?” Harry asked, trying to keep the exhaustion out of his voice, but Draco heard it anyway.

“If you'd like,” Draco agreed. He knew that Harry trusted him enough that even if Harry fell asleep during it, he'd not object to Draco finishing – and in fact would probably hex him if he didn't! – but Draco didn't really enjoy it when that happened.

Harry cast the necessary spells and purred happily when Draco promptly repositioned to enter him. “I love you so much! And even though I just tried to explain it to you, you probably have no idea how much this means to me.”

Draco kissed Harry. “I wouldn't agree if I didn't have at least an inkling.”

Harry smiled and kissed Draco, a slow and lazy kiss that lasted a long time.

“And I love you too,” Draco confessed in a near whisper, still not able to say those words out loud very often because it was a deeply ingrained belief that Malfoys did not ever show such weakness. He then did his best to finish as quickly as possible so that Harry could go to sleep.

The moment Draco pumped Harry full, he flopped onto the bed and stared at the ceiling as he thought about all the ways his life was going to change now that they were going to have babies again. It took a lot of effort to hold the hundreds of niggling worries at bay.

Harry rolled over abruptly and pulled Draco into his arms. “Hey. Stop worrying. Everything will be alright.”

With a tiny smile, Draco snuggled into his husband and let the steady thudding of their hearts lull him to sleep.

 

***

 

Draco smiled softly as he stared at the moving picture in his hand. It was taken during his check up earlier and showed the twenty week fetus inside him. He set it aside and picked up the one of Harry's baby. According to their Healer, both babies were boys this time.

To his relief, Harry was working less hours and had lighter duties. Both of their pregnancies were going well, especially now that they were firmly over the nauseous and exhausted stage and were in the achy and starving stage. It was a good thing that Harry loved to cook because they could practically eat everything in the house on a daily basis!

He looked up to smile at Harry, who was busy cooking dinner while Lily and Scorpius were playing in their backyard. Harry felt his gaze and returned it with a huge smile. Harry was one of those that took to pregnancy like he was born for it, so much so that he actually glowed! Not literally, but almost.

Harry gave Draco a suggestive smirk, which Draco returned before a thought hit him that made him gasp.

“What's wrong?” Harry asked with a frown of concern.

“We just had our twenty week check up!” Draco blurted out.

“Yeah...?” Harry drawled, not sure where Draco was going with this.

“Do you remember me telling you once that I had a very bad day and nearly offed myself?” Draco asked quietly so that their kids shouldn't hear him unless they chose that moment to walk into the kitchen – which they didn't.

Harry abandoned the cooking food – which didn't need him hovering at the moment anyway – so that he could stroke Draco's hair. “Yeah.”

“Then you should also remember that I told you that it was _me_ who showed up to comfort myself,” Draco reminded him. “That's today.”

Harry was a little confused. “What?”

Draco gave him a tiny smile. “Today's the day I go back to comfort myself, and I know this for certain because I mention the fact that it was my twenty week check up. Younger me asked if I was carrying Scorpius, and I told him that it was my second child. Thus, today.”

“Oh,” Harry murmured, pulling Draco into his arms and holding him tight. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Draco shook his head. “Not now. But I probably will when I get back.”

“Alright,” Harry stated in acceptance, giving Draco a tender kiss. “I love you.”

Draco grumbled indistinctly in a way that Harry interpreted as a gruff: I love you too.

When Draco pushed Harry away and called him a sappy Hufflepuff, Harry simply smiled and called the kids in as he dished them all up. Draco ate lightly and responded to questions, but it was obvious that his mind was elsewhere. When they were finished eating, Harry sent the twins off to take a bath.

Then he stood back and watched Draco fiddle with the illegal Time-Turner. It was unrestricted and had been made at Lucius Malfoy's command many years ago, but never actually used until Draco had gone to ask for a way to deal with the attack they were expecting and Lucius had admitted to having the device. Draco had devoted years to learning how to use it and manipulating it so that he could bend it to his will as needed.

Draco looked up at Harry. “I remember that I end up spending the night, and then I return home, so there is nothing to worry about. I don't get caught and younger me doesn't get caught either.”

“Then I'll see you when you get back,” Harry said, giving into the urge to hug and kiss his husband.

Draco lightly pushed Harry away, murmuring: “See you.” Then he closed his eyes and concentrated on the right moment according to his memories. When ready, he cast the spell to send him back to that exact time.

Younger Draco gasped in shock, making him open his eyes.

“Don't do it,” Draco ordered in no uncertain terms.

Younger Draco let out an unintentional sob. “But I don't want to do this anymore!”

Draco looked around his childhood bedroom, already knowing that his younger self had warded it with everything possible so that no one would disturb him as he did what he had to. Thus, no one would hear them even if they got into a shouting match. He also knew that his parents had hovered outside the door once or twice because they wanted to comfort him, but had respected his clear intention to be left alone – even though they could have eventually broken through the wards if they wanted to. It made Draco shiver to think that if _he_ hadn't come back in time, the fact that his parents respected his desire for privacy could have resulted in the worst happening.

He crossed the room and pulled his younger self into his arms, stroking his hair the exact same way Harry often did. He did nothing else for a long time as younger Draco struggled to compose himself. When Draco hummed soothingly – as he had plenty of practice doing for his children – younger Draco broke down and cried, accepting the comfort provided.

“Tonight, you were punished by the Dark Lord,” Draco stated in a soft but steady voice. “Harry and his friends had been captured and everyone expected you to confirm that it was them so they could be handed over, but you lied. You pretended that you couldn't be sure that it was him. Then you had to watch Hermione be tortured by your Aunt.”

Younger Draco let out another small sob of anguish at those words.

“When the Dark Lord returned and found out that he'd nearly had Harry in his grasp, he took his anger out on you. He blamed you for not fighting harder. For not preventing Harry's escape. He cast the Cruciatus Curse on you until you thought you were going to lose your mind like the Longbottoms.”

Younger Draco nodded, surprisingly relieved that someone seemed to understand what he was going through.

Taking a deep breath, Draco finished. “So you decided that the only way to be certain that nothing can ever hurt you again is to simply die. However, you don't hate yourself, so you can't just use the Killing Curse. Therefore, you have decided to cast the Cutting Hex all over your body until you bleed out.”

Younger Draco nodded again.

“As I said, don't do it.”

Younger Draco took a few deep breaths to calm down and steady his nerves. Even so, his voice was shaky when he spoke, still in a near whisper. “I don't want to do this anymore. It seems like no matter what I do, it's never good enough. No one cares about me and –”

Draco took his younger self's hand in his and pressed it to his abdomen. Despite being rather obvious as the two of them were hugging, he wanted to emphasize the point. “Yes, people _do_ care about you.”

“In the future, maybe,” younger Draco grumbled petulantly.

Draco sighed. “Even now, your parents are worried sick about you, they just don't know what to do.”

Younger Draco scoffed.

“Listen, don't let a very bad day ruin the rest of your life. You have so much to live for!”

Younger Draco bit his lips in thought. “It just doesn't make sense! Why would I get married to and have babies with Harry bloody Potter of all people?!”

“You don't feel it quite yet, but you will. There will come a day in which it will hit you quite suddenly, and then everything will make sense.”

“What will hit me?” Younger Draco asked curiously.

“Love,” Draco murmured softly, and then forced himself to say it clearly so that there was no doubt in his younger self's mind. “I love Harry with everything I have. Far more than even he realizes, I'm sure.”

Younger Draco looked equal parts nauseous and curious. “Love?”

Draco simply nodded. Then he pointed to his stomach. “Why else do you think I'm carrying a child? Harry wanted a family and kids and I love him so much that I just can't say no to him.”

“So... is that Scorpius?” Younger Draco asked because he still had dreams of the time that Scorpius and Lily had come into the past for almost an entire week. As much as he currently wanted to stop living, he also longed for those two with a bone deep ache that he couldn't quite explain.

Draco chuckled. “No. Actually, I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my second child. Er, not counting Lily. And Harry's also 20 weeks with his second. Thus, we'll have two sets of twins.”

“Salazar's raunchy hole! I get pregnant _twice_?!?!” Younger Draco asked in horror.

Draco laughed. “So far. I hope it'll be the last time, but Harry seems like he might want more in the future. I will probably convince him to wait another seven years, and then at that point, I might be able to convince him that we're too old to be getting pregnant again.”

Younger Draco purposely smoothed out his expression. “Alright, fine. You've convinced me. Now go away.”

Draco rolled his eyes and tapped his younger self on the forehead. “You forget that I _was_ you. I know what you're thinking, and right now, you're thinking that if you can just get me to leave, you can finish yourself off and end the pain.”

Younger Draco pressed his lips together and looked away. Draco held him tight once more. The teen was passive, unable to accept comfort – not even from himself – now that the immediate crisis had passed.

“I know it hurts,” Draco murmured. “But it will get better. _I promise_.”

When younger Draco still didn't respond, the older one stroked his cheek tenderly before kissing him. Younger Draco inhaled in surprise. He didn't react in _any_ way for a long moment, then he melted.

“Make me feel better,” younger Draco begged softly.

“Of course.”

Even though he remembered this happening, Draco was a little nervous. Prior to now, younger Draco had only ever had sex with Pansy, and that had been a fairly basic way to relax and stop thinking for a few minutes. This was going to be different in so many ways, and Draco was suddenly worried that he was too pregnant to be anything but a disappointment. That said, he remembered it being good, so...

Mostly to calm his own nerves, Draco kissed his younger self for a long time, teaching him how to do it better than he'd ever tried before. Younger Draco moaned and clutched the back of the stylish robes that were comfortable to wear during pregnancy. The two of them got lost in the moment fairly quickly.

A soft groan of longing from younger Draco prompted the older one to progress to removing both their clothes. It was a long process that was peppered liberally by kisses and caresses. Older Draco was delighted to have an opportunity to lick and explore his lithe seventeen year old body. Meanwhile, younger Draco was marveling at how fit his older self was – despite being pregnant!

When the last piece of clothing was removed, younger Draco led his older self to the large bed that actually seemed dwarfed by the sheer size of his bedroom. Draco insisted that his younger self lay face down on the bed, which provoked a flicker of panic in those molten gray pools before younger Draco closed his eyes and forced himself to relax and obey.

Summoning a bottle of healing oil, Draco took the time to give his younger self a very thorough therapeutic massage. The Cruciatus Curse didn't leave physical wounds, but it did make the body tense up rather rigidly. With how long Draco had been tortured with it, his body ached fiercely, and the massage was much needed.

When younger Draco was relaxed almost to the point of drifting off to sleep, older Draco cast a spell to clean his hands. Then he grabbed a fat pillow and maneuvered his younger self until he was laying on the pillow with his arse elevated rather wantonly. The sight made Draco grin in admiration for a moment before he pried those glorious cheeks apart and licked a wide stripe over the soft pucker. Younger Draco nearly choked on an incredulous gasp.

Encouraged and surprisingly happy, older Draco threw himself into the task whole-heartedly. He licked, kissed, and sucked on that sensitive ring of skin for as long as he wanted before remembering that he had fingers that could be used as well. Younger Draco was moaning and writhing just slightly by this point, but went completely still as he felt fingers push inside him. It was uncomfortable at first, but he decided to trust himself.

It didn't take too long before younger Draco was rewarded for his trust. Older Draco located the younger one's prostate and rubbed it even as his still licked and probed the hole with his tongue. Younger Draco shuddered and cried out from the pleasure. When all signs pointed to the fact that younger Draco was getting very close to orgasming, older Draco stopped what he was doing, provoking a whine from his younger self.

“Don't worry, I'm not done yet,” Draco assured his younger self with a chuckle. He then pushed younger Draco over onto his back so that he could massage his front. Once more, younger Draco eventually calmed down and relaxed to the point where he nearly drifted off.

Which was why he was both startled and shocked when his older self suddenly covered his persistent erection with his mouth and gave it a good suck.

“Fuck!” Younger Draco choked out, his hips involuntarily jerking into that blissfully hot mouth.

Older Draco knew exactly what to do to get younger Draco close to the edge fairly quickly. Younger Draco seized two fistfuls of silky blond hair and yanked on them as he once again thrust up into that feeling of hot and wet and oh fuck yes! This was all it took for him to let out a breathy gasp and pump what felt like an ocean down that long and sensual throat.

Older Draco swallowed it all, then gave the empty shaft a few playful licks before shifting to lay next to his younger self. He simply held him tight and let him enjoy the aftermath of a brilliant orgasm. Eventually, his younger self seemed to wake up a little.

“I had no idea how much I needed that.”

Older Draco simply nodded in agreement.

“Er... do you plan to shag me?”

“No plans,” older Draco murmured, although he knew from his memories what his younger self was going to say next.

“Will you?”

“If you want me to.”

“I do,” younger Draco stated with a short nod.

Older Draco knew his younger self wasn't as confident as he sounded, so he responded by simply kissing him again. He also stroked the smooth skin that felt rather silky now that the oil had absorbed completely. It was a sensual tactile delight that made older Draco sincerely wish he could come back in time and do this at least once every other month or so. Unfortunately, he had no such memories, and so knew that this was a one time event.

Taking as much time as he wanted to explore that young body all over again, Draco eventually used his fingers to make sure that his younger self was fully stretched open and prepared. At that point, it didn't take younger Draco long at all to start begging. This was something that didn't happen often at all and Harry was the only other person who could make it happen.

More than ready to comply, Draco shifted until he was pressing into his younger self's body. Both groaned at how good it felt. The older one picked a pace that wouldn't overwhelm his younger self. As much as he wanted to hold out all night, it was a little awkward and uncomfortable with a pregnant belly in the way, so older Draco gave in to the urge to finish after just twenty minutes. They were both purring happily by this point.

When older Draco managed to get comfortable while laying on his side, he pulled his younger self close for a possessive snuggle. “I want you to know that despite everything that's been done to you and every horrible thing they've made you do, it's perfectly alright to love yourself.”

“Love,” younger Draco scoffed softly. This was a concept that he had a hard time with. He knew he loved his parents, but most of the time, he felt it was because he was expected to. He had no idea what love was other than that – except that it was a weakness that he couldn't afford.

“Yes,” Draco assured him. “You have worth, and not just because you're a Malfoy. There's so much more to you than you realize.”

Younger Draco pursed his lips and didn't say anything for a long time. Then he changed the subject. “Can I do that to you? Will you show me how?”

Older Draco smirked mischievously. “I thought you were at the age where you knew everything.”

Younger Draco rolled his eyes and didn't deign to respond.

“I can't lay flat on my stomach, and I get uncomfortable on my back after about twenty minutes, but if you can use your imagination, I'm sure you can come up with ways to work around that.”

Younger Draco grinned – the first genuine grin he'd had in a very long time. “Oh, I'm sure I'll manage.”

By the time they fell into an exhausted sleep a few hours later, younger Draco couldn't quite remember why he had been so determined to kill himself. Older Draco held him tight, relieved that the crisis was over and that it would never be quite that bad again.

 

***

 

On the second of May of Draco's Seventh Year, Harry Potter showed up at Hogwarts, which prompted the Dark Lord to attack the school. Draco spotted him in the great hall at one point and quietly gestured for Crabbe and Goyle to fade into the background with him so that they could cast Disillusionment Charms on themselves. After that, Pansy suggested that Harry be turned over to the Dark Lord, and the entirety of Slytherin House was asked to leave via a passageway that was also being used to send the underage students to safety.

For an indeterminate amount of time, Draco and his minions (who he did actually think of as friends when he was in a weak mood), followed Harry around until they ambushed him in the Room of Hidden Things and nearly... died. When Harry saved Draco, he felt a twinge that he thought possibly _might_ be what his older self had talked about.

In a daze from his close brush with death, Draco lost all track of Harry until hours later when the half giant Hagrid walked out of the Forbidden Forest as part of the Dark Lord's group. He was carrying Harry's body, wailing for everyone to hear how Harry had died. It was that moment...

Draco clutched his chest as his heart wrenched painfully. He felt tears sting his eyes and couldn't decide if he wanted to run to Harry and do whatever it took to resurrect him, or hunt down his future self and cast at least two of the three Unforgivable Curses for making Draco believe that he might deserve a happy future after all. How in the hell could Draco marry Harry and have those beautiful kids if Harry had just died?!

Never once in his life had he believed in love. Thus, he also hadn't believed the saying that a person didn't know what they had until they lost it. Until now. At this moment, he knew exactly what that saying meant because he had just lost Harry and it made him realize that he did actually love him, he just could never admit it before because, well...

Because admitting it would have been dangerous. At best, the Dark Lord would have tortured the love right back out of him. At worst, he would have used it – or actually, forced _Draco_ to use it – against Harry in any way possible. Draco was actually rather glad that hadn't happened.

Just as he was utterly falling apart and wondering how he could attempt to join Harry in the afterlife without a wand, Harry proved that he was _not_ dead after all. Draco was so happy that he could have ran over and kissed him in front of everyone! Except that now was definitely not the time since Harry and the Dark Lord were circling each other and it looked like there was going to be a showdown of epic proportions.

After the battle was over and the Dark Lord was dead, Draco felt so much relief that Harry had survived that he nearly passed out. His parents found him and the three of them huddled together in the great hall with all of the other survivors of the war. He saw Harry once or twice, but then the Savior disappeared and wasn't seen again.

Draco had no idea how to find Harry after that. For a long time, he paced his bedroom in Malfoy Manor and wondered how to contact the young man who might just be the key to his happiness. He wrote at least a hundred letters but discarded them all as pathetic.

Harry obviously didn't want anything to do with him! If he did, he knew exactly where to look. It's not like Malfoy Manor had moved since Harry's brief stay here.

Draco exhaled a long suffering sigh and slumped dejectedly.

About a month and a half later, Draco and his parents found themselves facing the entire Wizengamot. Today was the day that their fate would be decided, and even though Lucius insisted that they had the best legal representation – and thus, nothing to worry about – Draco just couldn't let himself believe that he would be forgiven so easily.

And then...

Harry.

Draco felt like he couldn't breathe and his eyes never left Harry for a moment as the boy with black hair, green eyes, and the quiet confidence of the hero of a war calmly told the whole story of what had happened and why the Malfoys – Draco especially – should be acquitted. Since the expensive men Lucius had hired to defend them had already done a surprisingly good job of singing their praises and minimizing their bad decisions, this testimony was all it took to tip the scales from probably in their favor to almost unanimously so.

Then Harry disappeared. Draco took the first opportunity to slip into a loo after they were declared free to go. He leaned over a sink and splashed his face as he tried his best to remember how to breathe.

Suddenly, he looked up into the mirror and had a jarring moment of d éjà  vu. Very slowly, he turned around. Even then, he wasn't sure whether or not to believe his eyes.

“Harry...”

“Malf – Draco...”

“Thank you,” Draco murmured, looking at his feet.

“Don't thank me,” Harry insisted with a shake of his head. “I was being selfish. I can't, er...”

Draco looked up curiously. “Can't what?”

“I can't try to date you and see if we have what it takes to make those beautiful kids we're supposed to have if you're in Azkaban,” Harry admitted.

“Oh,” Draco murmured in disappointment. “So you don't actually believe I should be free.”

Harry smacked himself on the forehead with a self-derisive sound. “I do! I wouldn't have been able to convince myself or  _anyone_ if I didn't believe every word I said!”

Draco smiled very slightly at that.

Harry held out his hand. “So... will you come home with me? I'd like a chance to get to know you better.”

Draco smiled a little bigger at that. “Yeah. Let me just tell my parents that I'm not coming home so they don't think I've been abducted.”

Harry nodded and gave Draco a small smile in return. Less than ten minutes later, Draco had managed to convince his parents that he wasn't being coerced into not returning home. Well, not by anyone with malicious intent anyway. He hadn't really spoken to any of his friends since the Final Battle, so they were certain that someone was threatening him.

Worried but willing to believe him, they watched him walk down a corridor toward an Apparation point where Harry Potter was leaning against the wall as if he had nothing better to do. With a soft smile, Harry straightened up and held out his hand. Draco looked away with a shy smile as he placed his hand into Harry's. A moment later, they were gone.

 

***

 

Harry and Draco lay curled up in bed after an amazing shag. They'd been living together for a few months, but had spent most of that time simply talking and figuring out ways to resolve their many fights without hexing each other to death. They hadn't tried shagging until recently, but once they had, it seemed to be all that they could do!

Harry absently swirled patterns on Draco's arm with his pointer finger. “So... when do you suppose we have those kids?”

Draco shrugged, not sure he wanted to talk about that just yet. It almost felt like tempting fate. Like talking about them would somehow destroy the possibility that they'd actually exist in the future.

Harry cleared his throat and tried again. “Because it was not quite ten years into the future of our sixth year that they came from. Now I know I'm not the best at math, but that was over a year ago. They were seven at the time, and it takes nearly a whole year to be pregnant and have a baby, so that leaves, what? Maybe a year until we have to conceive them?”

Draco swallowed and looked away as he half whispered. “We never asked when they were born nor when we conceived them. What if we do it too soon? Or too late. Then they might not be born at all. Or if they are born, they might not be the same kids we met.”

“I suppose that's true,” Harry murmured. “But I think I'd rather have different kids than no kids at all.”

“You would?” Draco asked curiously.

Harry nodded. “Yeah, I grew up basically alone, and I...” he trailed off and looked away.

“You what?” Draco asked, shifting so that he was above Harry and had leverage to make sure they were looking eye to eye.

“I want a family,” Harry admitted in a near whisper.

Draco was silent for a moment, then he decided to lighten the mood by purposely rolling his eyes. “You do realize that having kids with me means that you have to marry me, right? I simply cannot allow any children of mine to be conceived until  _after_ I'm married.”

It was Harry's turn to be silent for a moment before he gave Draco a soft smile. “Well, alright. So, when do you want to get married then?”

Draco nearly choked incredulously. “Just like that?! No arguing or trying to make me wait until you think you might be in love – or some such Gryffindor foolishness.”

Harry grinned and kissed Draco. “Well, it may be stupidly Gryffindor of me, but I'm pretty sure that I already am. It's subtle, such as the feeling that I could cast a Patronus without even trying every time I see you.”

Draco went rather pale at that. In a shaky voice that was just barely more than a whisper, he asked: “What are you saying?”

Harry stroked his hair soothingly. “I'm saying that I already think I might love you and I want nothing more than to marry you and have kids with you.”

Feeling the far too familiar sting of tears, Draco buried his head against Harry's chest and hugged him as tightly as he could.

“So...?” Harry prompted when it seemed like Draco was never going to speak again.

Draco cleared his throat and kept his head down because he still felt far too close to crying for his own comfort. “Well, I am a little better at math, but there's not much to work with. Even so, I think if we get married about six months from now, we'll have time to go on a honeymoon and just be together for a couple of months before we conceive those kids.”

“That sounds brilliant to me,” Harry assured him, rolling them over so that he was now the one on top. He kissed Draco until the sting of potential tears completely disappeared. Then he continued the kiss until it turned hot and grew into the certainty that they were going to shag again.

Draco took control once more by rolling them over and licking every spot on Harry's body that he'd previously discovered made Harry moan or squirm. It didn't take long for Harry to start begging him. The begging was like music to Draco's ears, so he purposely didn't give in for a long moment, but then he relented and shifted so that he was laying fully on top of Harry.

The moment Draco was buried deep inside Harry, he picked a leisurely pace, wanting to last all night if possible. But Harry had other ideas. He was far too worked up to just relax and let Draco do whatever he wanted, so Harry rolled them over yet again and rode his lover with a demanding pace that felt so good. Too good to resist for long.

With about a half dozen tugs on his shaft, Harry was squirting long and thin strings all over Draco, who promptly groaned in pleasure and pumped Harry full. They collapsed into a thoroughly sated pile and simply enjoyed the aftermath of a glorious orgasm. Just when Draco was drifting off, Harry shifted to look at him curiously.

“What?” Draco wondered without even opening his eyes.

“Just that, I've been wondering for a while now...”

Draco opened his eyes to look at Harry, curious himself now. “What?”

“Well... Where did you learn to be so good in bed?”

Draco grinned mischievously. “I taught myself.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Oh come on! You must have practiced on  _someone_ .”

Draco suddenly realized that this was important to Harry, and that the possible answer made Harry nervous. With a soft smile, Draco gave Harry a look that made it clear he was being serious.

“I've only ever had sex with Pansy – and that wasn't even all that good – and you. The only reason I have any idea at all about what I'm doing is that a future version of myself came back and taught me before letting me practice on him until I felt confident in my new skills.”

Harry had one brow raised in a skeptical look. “So... You're saying that... You had sex with yourself?”

Draco nodded. “Three or four times over the course of a very long night.”

“Well that's no fair!” Harry blurted out. “Why didn't my future self come back and do the same for me?”

Draco shrugged and rolled over so that his back was to Harry. Even though he was careful not to let anything leak through, Harry realized something was up.

“What's wrong?” Harry asked, stroking Draco's back with a firm and soothing caresses.

Draco took a deep breath, and then sighed. “I... I was going to kill myself. I had my wand in hand and was going to cast cutting hexes at my wrists and all over the rest of my body until I bled to death. I can only assume that my future self remembered this because he showed up just at the crucial moment and stopped me.”

“Oh God! Draco!” Harry gasped out, smothering him in a hug. “Why?!”

“The Dark Lord had just spent a few hours torturing me because you had escaped from Malfoy Manor, and I just hurt so badly. I wanted everything to end,” Draco admitted in a near whisper.

Harry had no qualms about crying as he rained a thousand tiny kisses over Draco's back, neck, and shoulders. “I'm so glad you stopped yourself!”

Draco smiled faintly. “I am too.” Then he changed the subject. “So... Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?”

Harry realized what he was doing and managed a small smile. “I've never been anywhere, so...” he shrugged. “Wherever you want to go is fine by me.”

Draco kissed him. “We'll talk about it more in the morning.”

“Alright,” Harry agreed as they snuggled up and drifted off. Harry held Draco tight and refused to let go. Rather than find this annoying – as he usually did – Draco felt safe and... loved... It made him smile, even in his sleep.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I didn't turn anyone off with that whole scene where Draco makes love to himself...


End file.
